圣诞节的笑话短文

圣诞节的笑话短文篇一
《关于圣诞节的作文：关于圣诞节的笑话》

关于圣诞节的作文：关于圣诞节的笑话

圣诞夜

新世纪的圣诞夜当然要找些东东来搞一下。根据以往积累的经验，做了一个电话游戏。前提当然是我们游戏别人。

找到游戏对象，我们拨通了电话：“喂，请问是XX先生/小姐吗?” “我是。”

“这里是168声讯服务，您的朋友为您点了一首《当》，祝您圣诞快乐!收听请按一号键。”

“哦?呵呵，好的好的!”

嘟??受在一边的老六和老八拿起两只搪瓷饭碗：“当!”

“谢谢您的收听!”

让人垂涎欲滴的职业??圣诞老人

1、他很神秘，你经常听到他的名字，看到他的“替身助手”，就是见不到他本人上班。

2、解雇圣诞老人，让他下岗，可能性为零。

3、他每年上班的时候自然出现，而其他时候连个鬼影儿也没有。

4、他的工作方式是一年十二小时制，而且还是在夜幕降临时，他上没上班天晓得。

5、即使上班，他也只是当个老板，指挥一大堆“追随者”跑腿，但人们对他的感激颂扬，他的追随者一点儿也沾不着。

6、他工作的重要内容是：周游世界(我们的梦想)。

7、这个行业完全垄断，你不能以“圣诞小子”、“圣诞姑娘”、“圣诞爸爸”、“圣诞妈妈”或者是“圣诞奶奶”的名义参与公平竞争，而最多只能当个“追随者”或“替身助手”。

圣诞节的笑话短文篇二
《关于圣诞节的作文：关于圣诞节的笑话》

关于圣诞节的作文：关于圣诞节的笑话

圣诞夜

新世纪的圣诞夜当然要找些东东来搞一下。根据以往积累的经验，做了一个电话游戏。前提当然是我们游戏别人。

找到游戏对象，我们拨通了电话：“喂，请问是XX先生/小姐吗?” “我是。”

“这里是168声讯服务，您的朋友为您点了一首《当》，祝您圣诞快乐!收听请按一号键。”

“哦?呵呵，好的好的!”

嘟??受在一边的老六和老八拿起两只搪瓷饭碗：“当!”

“谢谢您的收听!”

让人垂涎欲滴的职业??圣诞老人

1、他很神秘，你经常听到他的名字，看到他的“替身助手”，就是见不到他本人上班。

2、解雇圣诞老人，让他下岗，可能性为零。

3、他每年上班的时候自然出现，而其他时候连个鬼影儿也没有。

4、他的工作方式是一年十二小时制，而且还是在夜幕降临时，他上没上班天晓得。

5、即使上班，他也只是当个老板，指挥一大堆“追随者”跑腿，但人们对他的感激颂扬，他的追随者一点儿也沾不着。

6、他工作的重要内容是：周游世界(我们的梦想)。

7、这个行业完全垄断，你不能以“圣诞小子”、“圣诞姑娘”、“圣诞爸爸”、“圣诞妈妈”或者是“圣诞奶奶”的名义参与公平竞争，而最多只能当个“追随者”或“替身助手”。

圣诞节的笑话短文篇三
《关于圣诞节的笑话精选五则》

关于圣诞节的笑话精选五则

本文为大家选取了关于圣诞节的笑话精选五则：

关于圣诞节的笑话精选一、某日，妈妈问小于：你相信有圣诞老人吗? 小于：嗯„„(想了一下)不相信„„

妈妈心想小于真是长大了。她便又问：你为什么不相信有圣诞老人呢? 小于想了想说：因为这里从没下过雪。

关于圣诞节的笑话精选二、老师出了一道题目：圣诞节的起源。 小明响了老半天，最后写了12个字，“耶稣知道，我不知道，圣诞快乐!”

老师看后：“在试卷也写了12字的评语，“耶稣100分，你零分，新年快乐!

关于圣诞节的笑话精选三、圣诞节快到了，一位参议员到州立精神病院慰问。

全院病人在礼堂听参议员演说。口干舌燥地讲了半天，也听不到台下的人鼓掌。

参议员很尴尬，只好打足精神讲下去，想激发大家的掌声以便下台。 突然，有个病人站了起来，对周围的人大声说道：“你们别听这个小子胡说八道。他是个疯子，上午刚被送进来。”

关于圣诞节的笑话精选四、要过圣诞节了。一对新婚夫妇完全不懂繁琐的节日仪式，于是丈夫叫妻子去愉看邻居铁匠家是怎么做的。妻走近窗口，看见

铁匠正在用煤铲打老婆呢!妻子回家后，丈夫问她看见了什么，她死也不讲。最后丈夫气极了，拿起煤铲打她，她哭道：

“既然你全知道，还让我去看什么?”

关于圣诞节的笑话精选五、圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问受审人：“你干了什么坏事呀?”

“我今年圣诞购物早了些，”犯人哭着回答。

“那并不是件坏事，”法官说，“到底多早啊?”

“商店开门之前，”犯人答道。

圣诞节的笑话短文篇四
《有关圣诞节的英语笑话》

一、男性成长三阶段

The Three Stages of Man:

He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

He is Santa Claus!

男性成长的三阶段：

相信圣诞老人的存在。

不相信圣诞老人的存在。

自己是个圣诞老人

二、法官与小偷

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”

“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦的问受刑人：

“你做了什么坏事啊？”

“我今年圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。

“那并不事件坏事”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊？”

“商店开门之前。”犯人答道。

三、1000元的脑筋急转弯

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist! 答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

四、铅笔

What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

Answer: use a pen

若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办？

答案：用原子笔

五、圣诞老人的爱好

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？

答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。）

六、送出去还有的东西

What can Santa give away and still keep?

Answer: a cold.

什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着？

答案：感冒。

做题目赢E币，每日一练日积月累，

圣诞节的笑话短文篇五
《关于圣诞节的英语笑话》

关于圣诞节的英语笑话

A half-eaten egg was a result it becomes a leftover egg! I wish Merry Christmas

一个鸡蛋被吃剩半边，结果它变成了剩蛋！预祝圣诞快乐

The thief and the judge

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官与小偷

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。 “采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”

在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

Jesus's Telly

A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.

"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

耶稣的电视机

圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。

他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。

“可是那个角落里是什么？”妈妈问。

“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？

答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。） On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

英语：If you have not received my Christmas present, it has to be because of - your socks have a big hole! Bu Bu it fast! !中文：如果你今天没收到我的圣诞礼物，那一定是因为--你的袜子有个大洞！ 快补补吧！！

英语：a few days later I heard that you want to have eggs, that true? That I wish you lay eggs (Christmas) Happy! In a few days you have to Egg's full moon, I also wish you a round ahead of eggs (New Year's Day) Happy! Send中文：听说你过几天要生个蛋,真的吗?那我得祝你生蛋(圣诞)快乐!再过几天你的蛋蛋又要满月,那么我就也提前祝你圆蛋(元旦)快乐! 发送

英语：I wish to Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: I hope that no matter how bad your feet, wear socks when tomorrow morning, I'll give you receive the full blessing, the warmth of your heart and feet ㄚ子!中文：平安夜我向圣诞老人许愿：希望不管你脚多么臭，明早当穿起袜子时，能收到我给你的满满的祝福，温暖你的心和脚ㄚ子！

圣诞节的笑话短文篇六
《Christmas jokes圣诞节的笑话》

圣诞节的笑话短文篇七
《圣诞英文小笑话》

圣诞英文小笑话

This is a joke for Christmas season.The word Xmas is sometimes used instead of Christmas.We want to buy Glass and Glassware, Wire, Nautial,

Metal, Glassware, Resin, Wall Decor, Xmas.

一、男性成长三阶段

The Three Stages of Man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus! 男性成长的三阶段： 相信圣诞老人的存在。 不相信圣诞老人的存在。 自己是个圣诞老人

二、法官与小偷

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,

“What is your offense?”

“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦的问受刑人：

“你做了什么坏事啊？”

“我今年圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。

“那并不事件坏事”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊？”

“商店开门之前。”犯人答道。

三、1000元的脑筋急转弯

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

Just before the doors opened thehttp:of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

四、铅笔

What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil? Answer: use a pen

若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办？

答案：用原子笔

五、圣诞老人的爱好

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden? Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？

答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。）

六、送出去还有的东西

What can Santa give away and still keep?

Answer: a cold.

什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着？

答案：感冒。

圣诞节的笑话短文篇八
《圣诞小短文》

Letters to Santa

There are millions of people all over the world, who are dreaming of a visit to Santa. Many make their dream come true, and take a trip to the Polar Circle. Even if you never get to visit Santa, you can always write him and tell him about your dreams.

Each year, Santa gets hundreds of thousands of letters from 150 countries all over the world. The children in Great Britain, Poland and Japan are the busiest writers. During the summer months, Santa gets approximately 100 letters every day. He tries to answer letters from foreign countries, if the writer requests a reply.

Many children and grownups think that Santa's study with the fireplace is the nicest room of Santa's Main Post Office. There you can admire letters, pictures and gifts sent by children, and sit down for a moment in Santa's sturdy rocking chair. In the background you can hear lovely Christmas carols.

给圣诞老人的信

全世界有不计其数的人都在渴望着能拜访一下圣诞老人。其中有些人的梦想就成为了现实，他们真的去了北极圈。就算是你没有机会见到圣诞老人你也可以给他写信告诉他你的梦想。

每年圣诞老人都可以收到成千上万封来自150个国家的人给他写的信。其中英国，波兰和日本的小朋友是给他寄信寄的最多的。夏天的时候，圣诞老人每天都可以收到大概100封信。如果给他寄信的人要求他回信的话他就会尽力回复来自不同国家的信件。

很多小孩和成人都认为圣诞老人的那带有暖暖壁炉的书房是他家里最漂亮温馨的地方。在他的书房里圣诞老人可以读信，欣赏小朋友们寄给他的图片和精美的礼物，最惬意的就是能躺在他的书房的摇椅上听着优美的圣诞颂歌好好享受一番。 Father Christmas

It is said that in the year of 300 AD, there was a kind old man and his name was Saint Nicholas. He was always ready to help the poor and often

gave presents to them.

Today, Father Christmas is an imaginary figure, but nearly all young children believe in

him. They think he is a happy old man with a long

white beard and a long red robe.

On the night of the twenty-fourth of December every year, Father Christmas from some cold northern land comes down the chimney of the fireplace to put presents by the beds of children or to fill their stockings. So when children go to bed that night, they hang up their stockings, and on Christmas morning they wake to find them full of presents. Of course, it's really their

parents who fill the stockings.

Another name for Father Christmas is Santa

Claus.

For today's Christian, the origin of Christmas is, and should be, the birth of Jesus Christ as recorded in the Bible. Nothing more and nothing less. However, most of what we witness on December 25th each year has absolutely nothing to do with that blessed day, which probably occurred in late summer or early fall about 2,000 years ago. In fact, most of the customs and

traditions of Christmas actually pre-date the birth of Jesus, and many of them are downright deceptive in their meaning and origin. Anyway,

who cares when Christ was born?

Christmas Day,the 25th of December,is the

biggest festival(节日)celebrated in the Christian countries of the world.Although everyone enjoys Christmas Day,it is particularly enjoyed by children,who get very excited because of the presents they know they are going to receive.Small children believe that their presents are brought by Father Christmas(圣诞老人).Father Christmas is a kind of old man who,the children are told,lives at the North Pole.He travels through the sky on a sleigh(雪撬) which is pulled by reindeers(驯鹿) and loaded with(装满) presents.Stopping on the roof of houses,he enters by climbing the chimney(烟囱).When small children go to bed on Christmas Eve,they hang a stocking at the end of their beds.Their parents warn them not to try to look at Father Christmas,or he will not leave them

anything.When they wake,they find their stockings filled with presents.Children are very excited on Christmas morning and always wake up

early.

Christmas is also a family celebration.As any members of the family as possible gather to eat,play party games and watch the special

Christmas programmes on TV.

圣诞节的由来和含义

The Origin of Christmas

Christmas Day-December 25-which

celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ， the founder of the Christian religion， is the biggest and best-loved holiday in the United States.

According to the Bible， the holy book of Christians， God decided to allow his only son， Jesus Christ， to be born to a human mother and live on earth so that people could understand God

圣诞节的笑话短文篇九
《幽默短文1》

1.圣诞节是卖火柴的小女孩离开世界的一天，现在还有谁记得。 2.听别人讲的！小兵：连长、那个唱歌的宋什么的连**都没摸过为什么就能当少将。   连长：新兵蛋子你懂什么？她摸过的那杆**说出来吓死你。 3.公司老板喝多，许诺，圣诞节公司发福利，送每个星座员工对应的礼物。   金牛座，送头牛；白羊座，送只羊；双鱼座，送两条鱼；巨蟹座，送大闸蟹；   一哥们当时就乐疯了。。。众人不解。   他大声喊道：“我是处女座” 4.有个女生的家离学校很近，一天晚自习，这女学生来晚了，众目睽睽之下缓缓走进教室   班主任气愤的指着窗外对她说“在这就能看见你家，你还来晚！”   此女淡定回道“在这还能看见月亮呢”…… 5.夏天在学校，实在太热了，眼巴巴的看着老师们在办公室里开着空调凉快，眼珠一转我想出了一条妙计。   去办公室问老师问题，于是我拿着一道数学题去了，为了多带一会老师说了三遍我都说没听懂，   数学老师终于忍不住问我是不是走神了，旁边的语文老师英语老师借着这句话来训话，又训了半个小时，   不过别说，真凉快啊！ 6.昨天晚上，我把老板狠狠揍了一顿，打的他屁滚尿流，满地找牙，   他答应我以后再也不加班了，而且每月还给我加五千元奖金！   要不是老婆把我踹醒，我相信我还能提更多的条件，丫的败家娘们儿，净搅我好事！ 7.八个月的儿子比较黏我，我上个卫生间边哭边爬着就追来了，   老公走过来，抱起儿子说：看你个没出息样儿，打小就离不开个女人，以后怎么混！我顿时凌乱了。 8.香飘飘说自己一年卖出3亿杯，杯子连起来可绕地球还几圈！   新疆的拉条笑了！一个月卖出去的拌面能吧地球绕成个毛线团子！ 9.在一家名牌时装店里，一个穿着时尚的美女，对服务员说：“这几套衣服我全都要了！”   服务员正在包装时，美女突然大叫道：“糟了！”   服务员：“怎么了？难道您忘记带钱了吗？”   美女左右看了看，很尴尬地说：“我……我忘带男朋友了！！” 10.我见过的最淡定的女子，没事从来不给男朋友发短信打电话，问她怎么想的？   她说：他若不忙，就会和我联系。   他若正忙，我打扰他干什么？   他若不忙也不和我联系，那我联系他干什么呢？

圣诞节的笑话短文篇十
《英语短文笑话全集》

英语短文笑话

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his

classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the

thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six and one half inches".

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?", asked the judge.

"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

距事故的距离

一个木匠为一个目击的事故做证词.法官问他与事故发生地方的距离有多远.

这个木匠回答道:"27英尺6.5英寸远."

"什么?你怎么对这个距离如此肯定?"这个法官问道.

"噢,我知道有些白痴会问我,所以我测量了一下."这个木匠回答道.

称重

An irritated woman burst into the baker's shop and said:"I sent my son in for 2 pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."

The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied:"Ma'am, I suggest you

weigh your son."

一个女人怒气冲冲的闯进面包店，说：“今早上我让我儿子买了2磅的饼干，但是当我称它们的时候却只有一磅了。我觉得你的称有问题”。面包师镇定的看了看女人，说：“女士，我觉

得您该回去称一称您的儿子”

Trouble you again

A robust-lookinggentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the gutter like a common bum?"

"I'm very sorry sir." began the contrite headwaiter.

"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."

再次麻烦你

一个看起来很健壮的绅士在一个很贵的餐厅吃完精致的早餐并且喝了一些拿破仑白兰

地。然后他叫来服务生领班，“你还记得吗？”他愉快的说道，“大概一年以前，我在这里像这样就餐，然后因为我付不起帐，你把我想乞丐一样扔进排水沟里”

“非常抱歉先生”后悔的服务生领班说道。

“噢，那非常不错”这个客人道，“但是 我恐怕还得再麻烦你一次。”

词汇：1、gutter n.排水沟，臭水沟；2、bum n. 二流子，乞丐；3、headwaiter n.领班

丈夫和妻子

Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

Husband: You tell a woman something. It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. 妻子：你给男人说点事，他左耳朵进，右耳朵出。(转身就给忘了)

丈夫：你给女人说点事，她两个耳朵都听进去了，可是从嘴里出来了。

你吹牛吧！

The little John taught his parrot to speak "follow me to say that I can walk."

"I can walk." said the parrot following.

"I can speak."

"I can speak." The parrot simulatedas almost the same as he did.

"I can fly."

"You talk big." The parrot said without thinking for a while.

You talk big

小约翰教他的鹦鹉说话“跟我说，我会走路."

"我会走路”鹦鹉跟着说。

“我会说话。”

“我会说话。”鹦鹉模仿的和他说的几乎一模一样。

“我会飞。”

“你吹牛吧。”鹦鹉不假思索地说。

相关词汇解析：1.parrot n.鹦鹉；2.simulate vt.模仿

Five years experience and imagination

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held."

"Well," the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."

5年经验和丰富想像力

只上了几周班的年轻人被叫到了人事主管的办公室。

“这是什么意思？”主管问到“你应聘这从份工作的时候，你告诉我们，你有五年的经验。现在

我们确发现，这是你的第一份工作。”

“是的”。年轻人说，“你在应聘广告中说到，你想要的是一个有想像力的员工呀！”Proposal

An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.

"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.

"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

求婚

一位非常富有的男人在他65岁的爱上了一位20岁的年轻女孩，他打算向她求婚。

“你认为如果我告诉她我现在45岁她会答应嫁给我吗？”他问他的一个朋友。

他的朋友回答：“如果你告诉她你现在90岁的话，你成功的机率会更大。”

相关词汇解析：1.proposal n.求婚；（还有建议，提案等，之前有学过了，大家还记得吗？）

2.enormously adj.巨大的，庞大的；

３.contemplate vt. 预期，计划

We Left Nothing

Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the

milkman on the door:

NOBODY HOME. DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING.

When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house

ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

THANKS! WE HAVEN'T LEFT ANYTHING!

We Left Nothing

布朗太太这天出门，走之前在门上订了个便条给送奶工：

屋里没人，什么都不用留。

晚上当她回家的时候，她发现她的门已经被砸开，屋子被洗劫一空。

在她留的便条上，她发现被加一行留言：

谢谢！我们什么都没留下！

迟了四十年

An old fellow was snoozing away contentedly when he was startled awake by the

doorbell. He staggeredoff the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous

young woman.

"Oh my goodness," the pretty young thing exclaimed, "I'm at the wrong house."

"Sweetheart, you're at the right house," the old guy assured her. "But you're forty years

too late."

迟了四十年

一老头睡得正香，突然被门铃声惊醒了，于是他缓缓地从沙发走向门口。开门一看，是一个

年轻美丽的女人。

“天哪，我找错地方了”，少妇惊呼。

“宝贝，你没走错，你只是迟了四十年。”老人说道。

相关词汇解析

1. stagger vi.摇摇晃晃,蹒跚而行

2.gorgeous adj.华丽的，秀色可餐的，极好的

3.exclaim vi 惊叫，呼喊

英语笑话短文

Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

猪还是女巫

一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪！！”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫！！”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

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Response Ability

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

答问技巧

衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时，牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”

当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时，他答道：“当然不会。毕竟，我可能会是错的。”