搞笑英语句子
成考报名 发布时间：01-20 阅读：
搞笑英语句子篇一
《幽默的英语句子》
幽默的英语句子
1) Money is not everything. There„s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don„t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）
11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " 努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " "工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。
16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17)When two„s company, three„s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？
最美的十大经典爱情句子
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with
you.
我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won„t make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can„t have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。？？？？
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6) Don„t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn„t willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
7) Just because someone doesn„t love you the way you want them to, doesn„t mean they don„t love you with all they have. 爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
8) Don„t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right
one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
10) Don„t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
经典电影台词
NO.1 Forrest Gump 阿甘正传
1． Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you‟re gonna get. (生命就像一盒巧克力，结果往往出人意料)
2． Stupid is as stupid does. (蠢人做蠢事，也可理解为傻人有傻福)
3． Miracles happen every day. (奇迹每天都在发生)
4． Jenny and I was like peas and carrots.(我和珍妮形影不离)
5． Have you given any thought to your future?(你有没有为将来打算过呢)
6． You just stay away from me please.(求你离开我)
7． If you are ever in trouble, don‟t try to be brave, just run, just run away.(你若遇上麻烦，不要逞强，你就跑，远远跑开)
8． It made me look like a duck in water.(它让我如鱼得水)
9． Death is just a part of life, something we‟re all destined to do.(死亡是生命的一部分，是我们注定要做的一件事)
10． I was messed up for a long time.(这些年我一塌糊涂)
11． I don‟t know if we each have a destiny, or if we‟re all just floating around accidental—like on a breeze.(我不懂我们是否有着各自的命运，还是只是到处随风飘荡) NO. 2 The Lion King狮子王
1. Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance.
世界上所有的生命都在微妙的平衡中生存。
2. I laugh in the face of danger. 越危险就越合我心意。
3. I‟m only brave when I have to be. Being brave doesn‟t mean you go looking for trouble.
我只是在必要的时候才会勇敢，勇敢并不代表你要到处闯祸。
4. When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world. 如果这个世界对你不理不睬，你也可以这样对待它。
5. It‟s like you are back from the dead. 好像你是死而复生似的。
6. You can‟t change the past. 过去的事是不可以改变的。
7. Yes, the past can hurt. But I think you can either run from it or learn from it. 对，过去是痛楚的，但我认为你要么可以逃避，要么可以向它学习。
8. This is my kingdom. If I don‟t fight for it, who will? 这是我的国土，我不为她而战斗，谁为呢？
9. Why should I believe you? Everything you ever told me was a lie.
我为何要相信你？你所说的一切都是谎话。
10. I‟ll make it up to you, I promise. 我会补偿你的，我保证。
NO.3 Gone with The Wind乱世佳人
1).Land is the only thing in the world worth working for, worth fighting for, worth dying for. Because it‟s the only thing that lasts.(土地是世界上唯一值得你去为之工作, 为之战斗, 为之牺牲的东西,因为它是唯一永恒的东西)
2).I wish I could be more like you.(我要像你一样就好了)
3).Whatever comes, I‟ll love you, just as I do now. Until I die.(无论发生什么事,我都会像现在一样爱你,直到永远)
4).I think it‟s hard winning a war with words.(我认为纸上谈兵没什么作用)
5).Sir, you‟re no gentleman. And you miss are no lady.(先生,你可真不是个君子,小姐,你也不是什么淑女)
6).I never give anything without expecting something in return. I always get paid.(我做任何事不过是为了有所回报,我总要得到报酬)
7).In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你)
8).I love you more than I‟ve ever loved any woman. And I‟ve waited longer for you than I‟ve waited for any woman. 此句只可意会不可言传
9).If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, as God as my witness, I‟ll never be hungry again! (即使让我撒谎,去偷,去骗,去杀人,上帝作证,我再也不要挨饿了)
10).Now I find myself in a world which for me is worse than death. A world in which there is no place for me.(现在我发现自己活在一个比死还要痛苦的世界,一个无我容身之处的世界)
11).You‟re throwing away happiness with both hands. And reaching out for something that will never make you happy.(你把自己的幸福拱手相让,去追求一些根本不会让你幸福的东西)
12).Home. I‟ll go home. And I‟ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.(家,我要回家.我要想办法让他回来.不管怎样,明天又是全新的一天) 经典英语句子
1． Pain past is pleasure.（过去的痛苦就是快乐。）[无论多么艰难一定要咬牙冲过去，将来回忆起来一定甜蜜无比。]
2． While there is life, there is hope.（有生命就有希望/留得青山在，不怕没柴烧。）
3． Wisdom in the mind is better than money in the hand.（脑中有知识，胜过手中有金钱。）
[从小灌输给孩子的坚定信念。]
4． Storms make trees take deeper roots.（风暴使树木深深扎根。）[感激敌人，感激挫折！]
5． Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.（心之所愿，无所不成。）[坚持一个简单的信念就一定会成功。]
6． The shortest answer is doing.（最简单的回答就是干。）[想说流利的英语吗？那么现在就开口！心动不如嘴动。]
7． All things are difficult before they are easy.（凡事必先难后易。）[放弃投机取巧的幻想。]
8． Great hopes make great man. （伟大的理想造就伟大的人。）
9． God helps those who help themselves.（天助自助者。）
10． Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more.（四个简短的词汇概括了成功的秘诀：多一点点！）[比别人多一点努力、多一点自律、多一点决心、多一点反省、多一点学习、多一点实践、多一点疯狂，多一点点就能创造奇迹！]
11． In doing we learn.（实践长才干。）
12． East or west, home is best.（东好西好，还是家里最好。）
13． Two heads are better than one.（三个臭皮匠，顶个诸葛亮。）
14． Good company on the road is the shortest cut.（行路有良伴就是捷径。）
15． Constant dropping wears the stone.（滴水穿石。）
16． Misfortunes never come alone/single.（祸不单行。）
17． Misfortunes tell us what fortune is.（不经灾祸不知福。）
18． Better late than never.（迟做总比不做好；晚来总比不来好。）
19． It‟s never too late to mend.（过而能改，善莫大焉；亡羊补牢，犹未晚也。）
20． If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing well.（如果事情值得做，就值得做好。）
21． Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.（无热情成就不了伟业。）
22． Actions speak louder than words.（行动比语言更响亮。）
23． Lifeless, faultless.（只有死人才不犯错误。）
24． From small beginning come great things.（伟大始于渺小。）
25． One today is worth two tomorrows.（一个今天胜似两个明天。）
26． Truth never fears investigation.（事实从来不怕调查。）
27． The tongue is boneless but it breaks bones.（舌无骨却能折断骨。）
28． A bold attempt is half success.（勇敢的尝试是成功的一半。）
29． Knowing something of everything and everything of something.（通百艺而专一长。）
30． Good advice is beyond all price.（忠告是无价宝。）
英语口语精选句子
451. Go right back to the beginning．直接回到起始位置。
452. He does everything without aim．他做事都漫无目标。
453. He is respectful to his elders．他对长辈很恭敬。
454. He knows English better than I．他比我懂英语。
455. He resolved to give up smoking．他决心戒烟。
456. His talk covered many subjects．他的报告涉及很多课题。
457. I fear that he drinks too much．我担心他喝的酒太多了。
458. I have my hair cut every month．我每个月都理发。
459. I want to have a part-time job．我想有一份兼职工作。
460. I‟m sorry to have bothered you．对不起，打扰你了。
461. It is not so easy as you think．这事没有你想象的那么简单。
462. Keep your temper under control．不要发脾气。．
463. Lying and stealing are immoral．说谎和偷窃都是不道德的。
464. My efforts resulted in nothing．我的努力毫无结果。
465. My false teeth are stuck to it．我的假牙还在上边呢!
466. She is a composer for the harp．她是位写竖琴曲的作曲家
467. Take me to the airport，please．请送我去机场。
468. Talking with you is a pleasure. 和你谈话很愉快
469. The eggs are sold by the dozen．鸡蛋按打卖。
470. The price just covers the cost．这个价格正好抵消成本。
471. The sweater is of good quality. 这件毛衣质地很好。
472. The teacher got a little angry．老师有点生气了。
473. Think carefully before you act．三思而后行。
474. Walt invented the steam engine．瓦特发明了蒸汽机。
475. We are divided in our opinions．我们意见分歧。
476. Whatever I said，he‟d disagree．不论我说什么他都不同意。
477. Whoever comes will be welcomed．来的人我们都欢迎。
478. You look as if you didn‟t care．你看上去好像满不在乎。
479. You should look at it yourself．你应该亲自看看它。
480. Draw your chair up to the table．把你的椅子拉到桌子旁边来。
481. He covered himself with a quilt．他给自己盖上一条被。
482. He found my lecture interesting．他觉得我讲课有趣。
483. He had a good many friends here．他在这儿有很多朋友。
484. He is only about five feet high. 他大概只有五英尺高。
485. Her family are all music lovers．她全家人都是音乐爱好者。
486. I am busy．How is your business? 我很忙。你的生意做得怎样?
487. I don‟t think much of the movie．我认为那电影不怎么样。
488. I feel like eating an ice-cream．我想吃一个冰淇淋。
489. I found him seated on the bench．我发现他在椅子上坐着
490. I gave much time to the old car．我在这辆破车上花了不少时间。
491. I lost the door key about here. 我在这附近掉了门钥匙。
492. I‟m not guessing，I really know．我不是在猜想，我真的知道。
493. It‟s time to tell her the truth．是该告诉她真相的时候了。
494. Let‟s watch TV with a candle on．咱们点上蜡烛看电视吧。
495. Most games cost about that much．大部分游戏差不多都是这个价钱。 496. My parents want me to go abroad．我父母想让我出国。
497. She has been collecting s**ps．她一直收集邮票。
498. There are many stars in the sky．天上有很多星星。
499. We get to London this afternoon．我们是今天下午到达伦敦的。
500. What about having a pizza first? 先吃点比萨饼怎么样?
501. You‟d better look before you leap．你最好三思而后行。
502. You know what I‟m talking about. 我想你知道我在说什么。
503. He has been sick for three weeks．他已经病了几周了。
504. He inspected the car for defects．他详细检查车子有无效障。
505. I count you as one of my friends 我把你算作我的一个朋友。
506. I go to school by bike every day. 我每天骑自行车上学。
507. I have a large collection of CDs. 我收集了很多唱片。
508. I won‟t be able to see him today. 今天我不可能去看他。
509. I‟ll call a taxi in case of need．如果需要的话，我会叫出租车的。
510. Is there any sugar in the bottle? 瓶子里还有糖吗?
511. It‟s a secret between you and me. 这是你我之间的秘密。
512. It‟s very kind of you to help me．你帮助我真是太好了。
513. Let‟s divide the cake into three．我们将蛋糕分成三份吧。
514. Patience is a mark of confidence. 耐心是自信心的一种表现。
515. Susan is going to finish college．苏珊将完成大学学业。
516. That is my idea about friendship．这是我关于友谊的看法。
517. The book you ask for is sold out．你要的那本书已经售完了。
518. The boy was too nervous to speak．那男孩紧张得说不出话来。
519. The play may begin at any moment．戏随时都有可能开始。
520. The salve will heal slight burns．这种药膏能治疗轻微烧伤。
521. The sea sparkled in the sunlight．阳光下，大海波光粼粼。
522. The teacher tested us in English．老师用英文考我们。
523. There is a bridge over the river. 河上有一座桥。
524. They rode their respective bikes．他们各自骑着自己的自行车。
525. They will arrive in half an hour．他们将于半小时之内到达。
526. Time is more valuable than money. 时间比金钱宝贵。
527. We are all in favor of this plan．我们都赞同这项计划。
528. We reached London this afternoon．我们是今天下午到达伦敦的。 529. We two finished a bottle of wine．我俩喝完了一瓶酒。
530. what a lovely little girl she is! 她是一个多么可爱的小女孩耶!
531. Will you pick me up at my place? 你能到我的住处来接我吗?
532. You may choose whatever you like．你可以喜欢什么就选什么。
533. You‟re suffering from an allergy? 你过敏吗?
534. Beyond all questions you are right. 毫无疑问，你是对的。
535. But I plan to weed the yard today. 我计划今天除院子里的草。
536. But who will do all the house work? 但是这些家务活谁来做呢?
537. Close the door after you，please．请随手关门。
538. Come to see me whenever you like。你可以随时来见我。
539. Don‟t pull the chairs about,boys! 不要把椅子拖来拖去，孩子们!
540. He drives more carefully than you．他开车比你小心。
541. He invited me to dinner yesterday．他昨天请我吃晚饭了。
542. He struck his attacker on the ear．他打了那个攻击者一耳光。
543. He suddenly appeared in the party．他突然在晚会上出现了。
544. Her handbag goes with her clothes. 她的手袋和她的衣服很搭配。 545. Here we are．Row M, seats l and 3．哦，到了。M排，l号和3号。 546. His boss might get angry with him．他的老板也许会生他的气。
547. I expect to be there this evening．我打算今天晚上到那儿去。
548. I really need to lose some weight．我真的需要减肥了。
549. I think you have the Wrong number．我想你打错号码了。
550. I would rather stay at home alone．我宁愿独自呆在家。
551. I‟d like to look at some sweaters．我想看看毛衣。
552. Its origin is still a mystery now．它的起源至今仍是个谜。
553. Money is no more than our servant．金钱不过是我们的仆人。
554. Once you begin，you must continue．一旦开始，你就得继续。
555. She is poor but quite respectable．她虽穷，人品却很端正。
556. She spent a lot of money on books．她花了很多钱来买书。
557. The girl in red is his girlfriend．穿红衣服的那个女孩是他的女朋友。 558. There is a chair below the window．窗户下面有一把椅子。
559. They employed him as a consultant．他们雇用他为顾问。
560. To be honest with you，I‟m twenty．老实说，我20岁。
561. We often call him by his nickname．我们经常叫他的绰号。
562. Will you be free tomorrow evening? 你明晚有空吗?
563. Would you like to leave a message? 你要留话吗?
564. You can never turn the clock back．时光不能倒流。
565. You may as well tell me the truth．你还是把事实告诉我为好。
566. Are your grandparents still living? 你的祖父母还在么?
567. Can you recognize that woman，Mary? 你能认出那个女人是谁了吗，玛丽? 568. Do you have any suggestions for me? 你对我有什么建议么?
569. He is tough，but I am even tougher. 他是一个硬汉子，不过我要比他更硬。 570. He made his way through the forest．他设法穿过了森林。
571. He suggests you leave here at once．他建议你立刻离开这儿。
572. He was married to a friend of mine．他和我的一个朋友结了婚。
573. He will blame you for carelessness．他会责备你的粗心大意。
574. I can give you a number of excuses．我可以给你说出很多韵理由。 575. I don‟t doubt that he will help me．我不怀疑他会援助我。
576. I hope you enjoy your stay with us．希望您在这儿过的愉快。
577. I‟d like to-repair our differences．我愿意消除一下我们之间的分歧。 578. It‟s nothing to be surprised about．这事不值得大惊小怪。
579. It‟s rude to stare at other people. 盯着别人看是不礼貌的。
580. Bob has always had a crush on Lucy．鲍伯一直在爱着露茜。
搞笑英语句子篇二
《搞笑幽默的英文句子 附带中文翻译哦》
【第一条】 英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。【第二条】 英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。【第三条】 英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。【第四条】 英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。【第五条】 英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。【第六条】 英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke!中文：我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！【第七条】 英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。【第八条】 英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。【第九条】 英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。【第十条】 英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.中文：男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那叫风骚。【第十一条】 英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.中文：一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。【第十二条】 英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.中文：毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。【第十三条】 英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good?中文：大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？【第十四条】 英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.中文：天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。【第十五条】 英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have!中文：理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！【第十六条】 英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.中文：再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。【第十七条】 英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.中文：思想有多远，你就
滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。【第十八条】 英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.中文：中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。【第十九条】 英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.中文：你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。【第二十条】 英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.中文：女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。【第二十一条】 英文：If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.中文：你丫别跟哥谈良心，哥没有，上几天刚捐了。【第二十二条】 英文：Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.中文：去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。【第二十三条】 英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.中文：女人有俩张嘴，一张嘴道是非，一张嘴会吃人。【第二十四条】 英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.中文：其实，一天班可短暂了，电脑一开一关就过去了。【第二十五条】 英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.中文：把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉，剩下的就是素质。【第二十六条】 英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何处理倒霉。【第二十七条】 英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好才下锅。【第二十八条】 英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.中文：上联：活着没意义，下联：自杀没勇气，横批：白走一回。【第二十九条】 英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry!中文：我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！【第三十条】 英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.中文：过完了今天，就不要再见面，我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。【第三十一条】 英文：What I want, is shameless. What to eat, is not lose.中文：我什么都要，就是不要脸。什么都吃，就是不吃亏。【第三十二条】 英文：The moment when his grandson, because the world is your uncle.中文：时刻把自己当孙子，因为全世界都你大爷的。【第三十三条】 英文：Single sister, I always strive for; to a married woman, I never give up.中文：对单
身妹妹，我始终争取；对有夫之妇，我从未放弃。【第三十四条】 英文：Some people, really let you feel bad, some people, to learn to let you have a toothache!中文：有些人，认真的让你心疼，有些人，欠扁的让你牙疼！【第三十五条】 英文：When I was young I like to play hide and seek, when the friends are hidden well, I went home.中文：小时候我喜欢玩捉迷藏，当朋友们都藏好后，我就回家。【第三十六条】 英文：Real drunby, dare to face itself has no thickness.中文：真正的装逼，敢于直面本身没有厚度的脸皮。【第三十七条】 英文：My this life altogether wrong two things, one is born, the other is to live.中文：我这一生一共做错两件事，其一是生出来，另一是活下去。【第三十八条】 英文：I stand in the streets of Tokyo, loudly singing the Anthem of Japan -- we are Qin Shousheng.中文：我站在东京街头，大声高歌日本国歌——我们都是秦寿生。【第三十九条】 英文：Saw the ugly, had not seen so ugly. At first glance the pretty ugly, a more careful look ugly!中文：见过丑的，没见过这么丑的。乍一看挺丑，仔细一看更丑！【第四十条】 英文：Test book, simply pig. Don't panic if caught cheating, pretend to be.中文：考试不翻书，简直头猪。作弊不要慌，逮到就要装。【第四十一条】 英文：Political fail? Normal! China 1300000000 people, it's your turn when the president?中文：政治不及格？正常！中国13亿人，轮到你当国家主席吗？【第四十二条】 英文：Who dares to invade China, we can only give it a Chinese sentence: the bathroom lighting.中文：谁再敢侵略中国，我们只能送它一句中文：厕所里点灯。
幽默的英语句子
1) Money is not everything. There„s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don„t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）
11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "
现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "
"努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。
16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17)When two„s company, three„s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？
1.国外有个节目采访lord of ring（指环王）里面那个小哈比人时，他讲了个冷笑话： Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？）
A: I don‟t know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？）
Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（没眼睛鹿……没主意（英语口语的谐音））
agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？）
A: I don‟t know, what's it then？（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？）
Q: still no idea……”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音））
2.某次英文考试有两道题目：
1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。
2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。
正确答案应为：
1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
但是某生的答案是：
1）Shit!
2）Hello?
3老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money，并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”
4小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！
5某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu．
外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！
6江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."
翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?"
外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”
江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."
7一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY „I LOVE YOU!!‟SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”
男的答道：“IT!”
8某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，
忙说：I am sorry.
老外应道：I am sorry too.
某人听后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.
9某男，亦粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是：Sex，该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week”。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn‟t it be male?”
男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.
和“Kiss”有关的词汇
kiss-ass n.马屁精,谄媚者, 奉承
kiss good-bye 吻别, 放弃,失去
kiss of death n.死神之吻，乍看有益但会导致毁灭的行为
kiss of life n.生命之吻
kiss of live n.口对口人工呼吸
kiss of peace [宗] 接吻礼,团结友爱的接吻
kiss the rod v.甘心受罚
kiss the post v.吃闭门羹；为时过晚
blow a kiss 飞吻
vacuum kiss 真空吻（*ing the air out of one‟s partner‟s mouth and lungs）
French kiss 法式接吻（kiss with your mouth open and your tongues touching） Platonic kiss 柏拉图之吻（short kiss on the check for greeting）
Smooch v/n 热吻
Peck n 匆匆轻吻
经典英语绕口令
1. Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.
2. Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.
3.Please, Paul, pause for applause.
4.“Shall I show you the shop for shoes and shirts?” Shirley said to shelly.
5.Do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?
6.Paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.
7.I'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.
8.A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.
9.It is a fine thing to sing in Spring, I think.
10.Famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.
11.I am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of Jazz.
12.In winter the weather in Wales is wild
13.I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.
14.Mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.
15.Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
英语谚语500句 （A:51--100）
51) A man becomes learned by asking questions.
不耻下问才能有学问。
52) A man can do no more than he can.
凡事都应量力而行。
53) A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
一心不能二用。
54) A man is known by his friends.
什么人交什么朋友。
55) A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. 光说空话不做事，犹如花园光长刺。
56) A man without money is no man at all.
一分钱难倒英雄汉。
57) A merry heart goes all the way.
心旷神怡，事事顺利。
58) A miss is as good as a mile.
失之毫厘，差之千里。
59) A mother's love never changes.
母爱永恒。
60) An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
一天一苹果，不用请医生。
61) A new broom sweeps clean.
新官上任三把火。
62) An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
以眼还眼，以牙还牙。
63) An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening. 一日之计在于晨。
64) An old dog cannot learn new tricks.
老狗学不出新把戏。
65) An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom. 聪明才智，不如运气。
66) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
预防为主，治疗为辅。
67) A rolling stone gathers no moss.
滚石不生苔，转业不聚财。
68) As a man sows, so he shall reap.
种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。
69) A single flower does not make a spring.
一花独放不是春，百花齐放春满园。
70) A snow year, a rich year.
瑞雪兆丰年。
71) A sound mind in a sound body.
健全的精神寓于健康的身体。
72) A still tongue makes a wise head.
寡言者智。
73) A stitch in time saves nine.
小洞不补，大洞吃苦。
74) A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe.
身正不怕影子斜。
75) A wise head makes a close mouth.
真人不露相，露相非真人。
76) A word spoken is past recalling.
一言既出，驷马难追。
77) A year's plan starts with spring.
一年之计在于春。
78) A young idler, an old beggar.
少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。
79) Bad news has wings.
好事不出门，坏事传千里。
80) Barking dogs seldom bite.
吠犬不咬人.
81) Beauty lies in the love's eyes.
情人眼里出西施。
82) Be swift to hear, slow to speak.
听宜敏捷，言宜缓行。
83) Better late than never.
不怕慢，单怕站。
84) Better to ask the way than go astray.
问路总比迷路好。
85) Between friends all is common.
朋友之间不分彼此。
86) Birds of a feather flock together.
物以类聚，人以群分。
87) Blood is thicker than water.
血浓于水。
88) Blood will have blood.
血债血偿。
89) Books and friends should be few but good.
读书如交友，应求少而精。
90) Business is business.
公事公办。
91) Business is the salt of life.
事业是人生的第一需要。
92) By reading we enrich the mind, by conversation we polish it. 读书使人充实，交谈使人精明。
93) Cannot see the wood for the trees.
搞笑英语句子篇四
《幽默的英语句子》
幽默的英语句子
1) Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）
11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
"现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? " "努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。
16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17)When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to
learn.
学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？
六、励志的英语句子
1.No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
2.If you fail, don't forget to learn your lesson.
如果你失败了，千万别忘了汲取教训。
3.Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间
4.Live a noble and honest life. Reviving past times in your old age will help you to enjoy your life again.
过一种高尚而诚实的生活。当你年老时回想起过去，你就能再一次享受人生。
5.To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6.Never judge people by their appearance.
永远不要以貌取人。
7.Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
8.Remember the best love is to love others unconditionally rather than make demands on them.
记住：最好的爱存在于对别人的爱胜于对别人的索求之上。
9.Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.
举起你的酒杯吧。不要吝啬洒上你最好的香水，你想用的时候就享用吧！
10.Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.
寻找更多的知识，多读一些书，坐在你家的前廊里，以赞美的眼光去享受眼前的风景，不要带上任何功利的想法。
11.Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你想了解别人也想让别人了解你之前，先完善并了解自己。
12.Do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION.
搞笑英语句子篇五
《搞笑英文台词》
1.你想要啊?你想要就说吧,你不说我怎么知道你想要呢?
You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent?
2.你又在吓我
You scare me again.
3.莫非是一家黑店?
Is this a slaughter house?
4.长夜漫漫,无心睡眠
It's a long night, no mood to sleep.
5.如果不能跟我喜欢的人在一起,就算让我做玉皇大帝我也不会开心
If I can't be with the one who I love, I won't be happy even if I were Heaven Emperor.
6.要不要我把心掏出来给你看看啊?
Should I show you my heart?
7.可惜快乐永远都是短暂的,换来的只是无穷无尽的痛苦和长叹
But happiness is always a flash of time. We only have endless pain.
8.有一天当你发觉你爱上一个让你讨厌的人,这段感情才是最要命的
When you discover that you’ve fallen in love with a man you hate, this affair is really hurting you.
9.可我怎会爱上一个我讨厌的人呢?请你给我一个理由好不好?拜托!
But how can I fall in love with a person I hate? Please give me a reason, please!
10.爱一个人需要理由吗?不需要吗?需要吗?
We don't need any reason to love a person. Don't we? Do we?
11.你有多少兄弟姐妹?你父母尚在吗?你说句话啊!我只是想在临死之前多交一个朋友而已.
How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents alive? Speak up! I just want to make a new friend when I'm going to die.
12.所以说做妖就像做人一样,要有仁慈的心,有了仁慈的心,就不再是妖,是人妖.
Being a devil is the same as being a human. We should be kind. If we are kind, we are not a devil, we are a hybrid.
13.爱一个人是痛苦的
Love means pain.
14.这样的话只是得到我的肉体,并不能得到我的灵魂
You can just get my body instead of my spirit.
15.曾经有一段真挚的爱情摆在我的面前,我却没有珍惜,直到失去才追悔莫及.人世间最大的痛苦莫过于此.如果上天再给我一次机会的话,我一定会对那女孩说三个字:我爱你.如果非要在这段爱情前加个期限的话,我希望是一万年.
I have had my best love before, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I fell regretful. It is the most painful matter in this world. If God can give me another
chance, I will say 3 words to her --- I love you. If you have to give a time limit to this love, I hope it is 10 thousand years.
搞笑英语句子篇六
《搞笑中国式英语35句》
搞笑中国式英语35句
2011-7-17
01． 有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。
[误] With a comet like him， nothing can be accomplished。
[正] With a jinx like him， nothing can be accomplished。注：“扫帚星”是中国人对“慧星”（comet）的俗称，因其后面象拖着的一条像扫帚一样的长尾巴而得名。在中国古代，“扫帚星”被认为是灾难的预兆，并被用来比喻不吉利的人或事；祸根：（person or thing that is thought to bring）bad luck（to sb/sth）；curse。英语的 comet 虽然没有这层含义，但却有一个对应的说法，即 jinx。 例：There's a jinx on/Someone's put a jinx on this car： it's always giving me trouble． “这辆汽车上有什么妨人的东西，总给我找麻烦”。
02萝卜青菜，各有所爱。
[误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage。
[正] Tastes differ。
注：Tastes differ/vary 是句英语谚语，除此以外，原句还可翻译成 No dish suits all tastes 或 You can never make everyone happy 等。《新概念英语》第三册第23课的标题是：One man's meat is another man's poison，表达的很生动。 总之，应采取意译。
03．他一向嘴硬，从不认错。
[误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault。
[正] He never says uncle。
注：say （cry） uncle： to give up or in； to surrender； to admit defeat． Mainly used by boys， as when fighting。主要是男孩们打架时的用语，当一方想制服另一方时，就用命令的口气说：“Say uncle！”这时，有的孩子为了表示不服输，就是不说。后来，say uncle 就成了“服输”的代名词，而 not say uncle 就相当于“嘴硬”了。
04．老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。
[误] The teacher likes this sweet－mouthed little girl very much。
[正] The teacher likes this honey－lipped little girl very much。
注：中国人喜欢说“嘴甜”，但 honey－lipped 更符合英美人的语言习惯。
05．同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。
[误] The student all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass。
[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots。
注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要葡匐到在，亲吻他们的靴子。后来，人们将 lick the boots 引申为“为了某种目的而讨好某人”，它与汉语的“拍马屁”含义一样。在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法，即 polish the apple，它典出以前的学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
06．你听说了吗？迈克把他的女朋友给甩了。
[误] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend。
[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend。
注：break up with sb． 虽然表示“与某人分手了”，但并没说明是谁先提出来的。而 dump 的原意指“倾倒垃圾”，用在这里则表示像倒垃圾一样地甩掉。
07．我们要把祖国建设成为社会主义的现代化强国。
[误] We will build our motherland into a socialist modern powerful country。
[正] We will build our motherland into a modern powerful socialist country。
注：形容词作为修饰语在汉语和英语中都很常用，但使用的先后次序却有所不同。在英语中我们一般遵循“靠近原则”，即越能说明本质属性的修饰词越靠近它所修饰的名词，当从这一点看不出区别时，就靠词的长短来决定，短的在前，长的在后。原文中最能说明“国家”本质的定语是“社会主义的”，所以 socialist 要最靠近它所修饰的中心词。
08．人都是这山望着那山高，对自己的现状没有满意的时候。
[误] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on． They never feel saisfied with what they've already got。
[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill． They never feel saisfied with what they've already got。
注：“这山望着那山高”是指人不满足于现状的心理，它在英语中已经有了现成的说法，即 the grass is greener on the other hill（他山的草更绿），因此我们借用即可，这样既方便又更有利于与西方人沟通。 09．中华人民共和国主席
[误] Chairman of the People's Republic of China
[正] President of the People's Republic of China
注：以前，我们一直将“主席”翻译为 chairman，例如：great leader Chairman Mao（伟大领袖毛主席）。其实“主席”与 chairman 并不等义，chairman 在英语中通常指会议或某一具体组织的负责人，它的权力和重要性不及中文的“主席”。这就是为什么1983年，在我国《宪法》的英译单行本中开始使用 President一词，并沿用至今。另外，国内仍有不少词典把“班/级长（学校的）”译为“class monitor”，这是“四人帮”
时代的产物，那时的“班长”是专司监管学生的，所以译作“monitor”。而“班长”的正确译文应该是“class president”。
10．转战南北
[误] fight south and north
[正] fight north and south注：在地理方位的表达习惯上，中英文有一定的区别。中国人习惯于先“东西”后“南北”，而且在涉及“南北”时，习惯于先说“南”，再说“北”，如：“南征北战”、“南来北往”等。而英美人与此正好相反，如“江苏在中国的东南部”英文是 Jiangsu is in the south－east of China， 而“新疆在中国的西北部”应译为 Xinjiang is in the north－west of China。
11．这个教授教得很烂。
[误] The professor teaches badly。
[正] The professor is so terrible。
注：有人认为第二句的意思是“这个教授很可怕”，其实不然。英语中 terible 意思很灵活，例如：feel terrible 指身体“不舒服”； The food is terrible 则是说食物“难吃极了”。而第一句纯属中文式的表达。
12．北京申奥成功的消息令我们热血沸腾。
[误] Beijing's winning the bid for the Olympics makes our blood boil。
[正] Beijing's winning the bid for the Olympics makes us excited。
注：make one's blood boil 是指“激怒某人”，而非“使人激动”。英语中“使人激动”的说法除了 make one excited，还有较为口语化的 make one's spine tingle。
13．别听他们胡说八道，根本就没那回事。
[误] Don't listen to their babbling． Nothing of the sort。
[正] Don't be fooled by their babbling． Nothing of the sort。
注：原文中的“听”不能用 listen to 来表示，因为 listen to 指“听”的动作，而原文中的“别听”不是不让他“听”，而是劝告他“不要听信”，因此，用 not be fooled by 才更达意。
14．我们这儿的人都觉得他有婚外恋。
[误] Pepple around here all feel that he has affairs outside his own marriage。
[正] Pepple around here all feel that he is leading a double life。
注：affair 本身就指“私通”或“暧昧关系”，当然是“婚外”的事，所以 outside one's own marriage 无疑是多此一举了。英语中“有婚外恋”的地道说法应该是 lead a double life。
15．别看别人不把她当回事，在家里她可是父亲的掌上明珠。
[误] Although other people never take her seriousy， she is the pearl on her father's hand at home。
[正] Although other people never take her seriousy， she is the apple of her father's eye at home。
注：中英文常用不同的喻体表明相同的喻义，“掌上明珠”与 the apple of one's eye 就是一个很好的例子。这种情况我们一般应尊重各国文化和习俗，翻译时取目的语的固定说法，而不必直译，这有助于将意思更有效地传达给读者。the apple of one's eye 源自圣经《旧约》，当时人们用 apple 指人的瞳孔。尽管瞳孔现在已经用 pupil 来表示，不再是 apple 了，但这一用法却延续了下来。
16．都十点钟了。起床了，懒虫！
[误] It's ten o'clock． Get up， lazy worm！
[正] It's ten o'clock． Get up， lazy bones！
注：“懒虫”并非真是一条虫，只不过被用来形容人很懒惰罢了。英语里与之对应的说法是 lazy bones（懒骨头）。注意，这里的 bone 应以复数形式出现，也许是因为不会只有一根骨头懒吧！
17．我唯一的资本就是勤奋。
[误] My only capital is diligence。
[正] My only means to success is diligence。
注：原文的“资本”是借喻，实际指“可以依靠并取得成功的手段”。而英语的 capital 指 money used to produce more wealth or for starting a business，并没有中文那样的引申意思。所以，这里的“资本”不能与 capital 画等号。也有人用 advantage 来翻译“资本”，虽然不尽意，但至少可以让读者理解。
18．这家商店开辟了休息处，受到顾客的称赞。
[误] This department store has set up a resting－place， much to the customers' appreciation。
[正] This department store has set up a lounge， much to the customers' appreciation。
注：英语的 resting－place 虽然有“休息处”的意思，但更经常的是用来指“坟墓”，即“最后安息之处”。因此，把公共场所的“休息处”译为 resting－place 不很合适。也有人将它译为 rest－room，但那更不妥当，因为英语中的 rest－room 是“厕所”的委婉说法，而“休息处”不是这个意思。
19．大家都怀疑汤姆是个间谍。
[误] Everyone doubts that Tom is a spy。
[正] Everyone suspects that Tom is a spy。
注：doubt 作“怀疑”讲，是“不相信”的意思；而 suspect 作“怀疑”讲，是指“对．。．有所察觉”。第一句译文犯了两个错误：首先，doubt 不能接 that 从句，只有not doubt that 和 doubt if/whether；其次，
它所表达的意思是“大家对汤姆是间谍这件事表示怀疑”，即“大家不相信汤姆是间谍”，与原文的意思恰好相反。
20． 我们俩关系最好，他经常来我这儿蹲饭吃。
[误] We are best friends． He always comes here to have meals for free。
[正] We are best friends． He always comes here to bum meals off me。
注：第一句只表明“他常到我这儿来白吃白喝”，但朋友这间那种亲密关系没有体现出来。而 bum sth． off sb． 指向非常熟的朋友要一些不起眼的小东西，而朋友也不会介意还不还
21．最近的人口统计显示中国人口已超过12亿。
[误] The latest census shows that China's population has surpassed 1．2 billion。
[正] The latest census shows that China's population exceeds 1．2 billion。
注：surpass 和 exceed 译成中文虽然都是“超过，胜过”的意思，但出现具体数字时要用后者。
22． 我希望你不要拖我的后腿。
[误] I hope that you won't pull my leg。
[正] I hope that you won't hold me back。
注：pull one's leg 是“愚弄某人，开某人的玩笑”的意思，相当于 make fun of sb．。英语中与“拖后腿”相对应的表达是 hold sb． back 或 be a drag on sb． 等。
23． 学校里，那些长得人高马大的家伙常来找我的麻烦。
[误] At school， those big and strong guys always come to find my trouble。
[正] At school， those big and strong guys always come to pick on me。
注：find my trouble 是“发现我的难处”的意思，而英语中“找某人的麻烦”用短语 pick on sb． 它不仅表示“挑剔某人、找某人的碴”，而且还包含 tease（取笑、戏弄）或 bully（威胁、欺侮）的意思。
24． 原来如此。一经你解释我就明白了。
[误] So it is． I understand soon after your explanation。
[正] So that's how it is． I understand soon after your explanation。
注：So it is 的意思是“的确如此”，它是用来表示对对方观点的赞同的。例如：
A： It is a fine day today！
B： So it is。
而在表达恍然大悟时，英文要用 So that's how it is 或 So that explains it， 或更简单地道的说法 Oh， I see。
搞笑英语句子篇七
《幽默英语短句二十句》
幽默英语短句二十句
1， Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2， Evening news is where they begin with „Good evening‟,
and then proceed to tell you why it isn‟t.
晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。 3， Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the
very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4， Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
telling them to sit down and shut-up.
孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5， It‟s not the fall that kills you; it‟s the sudden stop at the end.
跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。
6， Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘
7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don‟t know son,
I‟m still paying.”
一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”
他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
8, If at first you don‟t succeed, try again … unless you fail at
skydiving.
如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳
伞。
9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after
it as when you are in it.
你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。
10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never
happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do
we worry, and what is there to worry about?
据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全
可以解决。所以，我们为什么要担心呢？又有什么值得担心的呢？
11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony,
health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they‟ll forget my number.
我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。每当怀疑、
焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码
12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be
sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.
如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到
你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。
13， Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary
ones that are unconquerable .
真正的困难是可以克服的，想象出来的困难时难以征服的 14， If you ask what is the single most important key to
longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress
and tension. And if you didn‟t ask me, I‟d still have to say it.
如果你要问我长寿最关键的秘诀是什么，我会说一定要避免
忧虑、焦虑和紧张。如果你不问我，我也会这么说。
15， It is the trouble that never comes that causes the ioss of
sleep.
让我们失眠的总是那些从不会发生的麻烦。
16， Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a
couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it. But don‟t worry. Worry never fixes anything.
每天担心一点点，一生便会失去很多年。如果有问题，尽快
去解决。但不要担心，担心不能解决问题。
17， Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate
the journey!
不要担心路不平，去为精彩旅途而欢庆。
Definition of Love 诠释爱情
1) Love is a beautiful dream. 爱是一场美梦。
2) Love is sweet torment. 爱是一种甜蜜的痛苦。
3) Love is a great teacher. 爱是以为伟大的导师。
4) Love is the touchstone of virtue. 爱情是美德的试金石。
5) Love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe. 爱情是最甜蜜的幸福，最剧烈的悲痛。
6) Love is a fool who knows not what he is saying. 爱情是一个自己不知所言的傻瓜。
7) Love is an appetite of generation by the mediation of beauty. 爱情是一种以美做媒介的繁衍欲望。
8) Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality. 爱情是一种吧幻想世界变成现实的尝试。
9) Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by
imagination. 爱情是一幅大自然提供画布，想象力作笔的风景画。
10) Love is not two people gazing into each other‟s eyes, but rather two people looking outward in the same direction.爱不是你看我，我看你，而是两个人朝同一个方向往外看。
婚前“三思而后行”
1) Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of oins. 婚姻中三分是爱，七分是宽恕。
2) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
afterwards.
婚前睁大眼睛，婚后睁一只眼闭一只眼。
3） It‟s not beauty, but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband. 姑娘不是靠美貌，而是靠美德才能守住丈夫。
4） Love is an ideal things, but marriages a real thing ; a
confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
爱情是理想的，而婚姻是现实的；如果将理想和现实混淆，则会受到惩罚。
5） We should measure affection, not like youngsters by the ardor of its passion, but by its strength and constancy.
我们应该以力量和持久来衡量爱情，不应像年轻人那样只注重狂热的激情。
6) There are six requisites in every happy marriage. The first is faith and the remaining five are confidence.
幸福的婚姻有六个条件，第一个是“忠贞”，其余五个是“信任”。
7）Tell me , dear, why can I pierce any target I well, but not my love‟s heart?
告诉我，亲爱的，为什么我可以穿透任何我想要穿透的目标，却不能穿透我爱人的心。
8） You gave me the key to your heart, my love ;Then why do you make me knock?
你给了我开启心扉的钥匙，我的至爱；那为什么还要我敲门呢？
搞笑英语句子篇八
《英语中一语双关的幽默句子》
英语中有好多一语双关的幽默句子，现在为大家摘录一些常用幽默迷你句型，以供参考，据说是流传甚广的加菲猫语录哦。
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry，and when they marry they become otherwise..
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
11. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后座上的小孩会生出意外，后座上的意外会生出小孩。
12. "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep.
现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
13. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。
14. Hard work never killed any body.But why take the risk？
努力工作不会导致死亡。但为什么要冒险呢？
15. “Work fascinates me.“ I can look at it for hours!
工作好有意思耶!尤其是看着别人工作。
16. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17. When two’s company, three’s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!
18. A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就像铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
19. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget.The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着
搞笑英语句子篇九
《很搞笑的句子(爆笑)》
1、 如果全是老姜，将是一个何等辛辣的社会。
2、 朋友有的像真币，有的像假币，可惜我不是验钞机。
3、 “帅”有个屁用? 搞不好还不是被卒子给吃掉。
4、 顾客是上帝，但现在的商家对顾客服务态度如此恶劣，看来他们是信佛„„ 5、 人生最大的悲哀是青春不在,青春痘却还在。
6、 避孕的效果：不成功，便成“人”。
7、 放下书本，立地成佛。学海无边，回头是岸!
8、 我的简历，不知道就“百度知道”啊。 9、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。
10、我5分钟后到，如果没到，请再读一遍此短信„„
11、人人都说我丑，其实我只是美得不明显。
12、我年轻，需要你指点，但不需要你指指点点。
13、我曾经和一个人无数次擦肩而过，衣服都擦破了，也没擦出火花。
14、你说吧，你是想死呢还是不想活了？
15、这么不要脸，这么没心没肺，你的体重应该会很轻吧。
16、有心娶妻，无心恋爱。
17、宁愿胖得精致，也不愿瘦得雷同。
18、明骚躲易，暗贱难防。
19、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齿还有爱情。
20、为什么人的眼睛是长在前面的呢？因为人是向前看滴！
21、我不喜欢整理房间，他们都叫我乱室英雄。
22、我喜欢交朋友，尤其是女朋友。
23、你说你会等我回来，你确实等了，还找了一个人一起等。
24、人的一生就象在拉屎，有时你已经很努力了可出来的只是一个屁.。 25、生活嘛，就是生下来，活下去~~
27、丑也要谈恋爱，谈到世界充满爱。 解释就是掩饰，掩饰就是讲故事。 28、七岁的小男孩是地球上最可怕的生物，他们有好奇心、行动力、破坏力以及《未成年人保护法》
29、彪悍的人生是不需要解释的！
30、我爸面对我发胖一事发表了看法：没有韩红的命，还得了韩红的病。 31、人永远不知道谁哪次不经意的跟你说了再见之后就真的再也不见了。 32、猜一句英文：ABABBBAAAAAABBBABAAAABBBBAABBBAAAAA？答案：Long time no C 33、在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。
34、反正我这命老和他们算的不一样，不知道是他们没算对，还是我活错了。 35、我们是平凡的人，我们也是特别的人，所以我们是特别平凡的人。
36、通往成功的道路，还在施工，所以记得戴好安全帽。
37、有些姑娘和房价一样，只有回过头来看才知道你当初没有下手是错的。 38、女为悦己者容，男为悦己者穷。
39、别跟我谈钱，伤感情；别跟我谈感情，伤钱。
40、心有余而胃不足。
41、婚姻是爱情的坟墓，也就是说没有婚姻就是死无葬身之地。
42、法律规定：男人22岁才能结婚，可是18岁就能当兵。这说明了3个问题：一是杀人比做丈夫容易；二是过日子比打仗难；三是女人比敌人更难对付。
1、放下屠刀立地成佛的意思是，你放下屠刀的那一刻对方把你砍成两瓣儿了，然后就上西天成佛了。
2、也许似乎大概是，然而未必不见得。
3、我的兴趣爱好可分为静态和动态两种，静态就是睡觉，动态就是翻身„ 4、牛人天天有，今天特别多。
5、我不跟猪摔跤有两个原因：首先这让我自己变得很脏，其次这让猪很高兴。 6、现代人的生活状态：上今天的班，睡昨天的觉，花明天的钱。
7、突然感觉，吃了这么多肉都没长胖，太对不起那些死去的小猪，小鸡，小鸭们了。 8、荡气回肠，消化不良。
9、苹果最光辉的一刻就是砸在牛顿头上！
10、吃，我所欲也，瘦，亦我所欲也，二者不可得兼，我了个去也。
11、我喝水只喝纯净水，牛奶只喝纯牛奶，所以我很单纯。
12、我觉得打电话挺好的，这样说的每句话都是值钱的。
13、笑只是个表情，与快乐无关。
14、不吃饭的女人这世上也许还有好几个，不吃醋的女人却连一个也没有。 15、天会黑，人会变，3分情7分骗。
16、当男人遇见女人，从此只有纪念日，没有独立日。
17、如果你想得到从未拥有过的东西，那么你必须去做从未做过的事情。
18、铁公鸡还会留点铁锈呢，你根本就是个不锈钢公鸡！
19、每个人出生的时候都是原创，可悲的是，很多人渐渐都成了盗版！
20、不要说别人脑子有病，脑子有病的前提是必须有个脑子，可你连脑子都没有。 21、英雄难过美人关，可为什么我不是英雄，美人也不让我过去。
22、你说„„你喜欢我？其实„„我一开始„„其实我也„„唉～跟你直说了吧，其实我也挺喜欢我自己的。
23、你一出门，千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭。
24、完了，你也不理我了，我成狗不理了。
25、不吃得饱饱的，哪有力气减肥啊。
26、你的话，我连标点符号都不信。
27、人生就像一道多项选择题，困扰你的，往往是众多的选项，而不是题目本身。 28、会当凌绝顶，一览众山我最小。.
29、俩农夫吹牛——“俺们农场的鸡，吃的都是茶叶，下的全是茶叶蛋” ， “有嘛啊，咱农场给鸡吃钱包，让它下荷包蛋„”
30、如果回帖是一种美德，那我早就成为圣人了!
31、我这人不太懂音乐，所以时而不靠谱，时而不着调。
32、人生自古谁无屎，哪个拉屎不用纸!
33、脱了衣服你是禽兽，穿上衣服你就是衣冠禽兽。
34、人干点好事儿总想让鬼神知道，干点坏事儿总以为鬼神不知道，我们让鬼神太为难了。 35、智力测验就是要看到底笨到什么程度。
36、名花虽有主，我来松松土！
37、宁愿相信世间有鬼，也不相信你那张破嘴！
38、我总在牛a与牛c之间徘徊。
39、出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力 。
40、都说男人有钱就变坏，我都当了二十多年的好人了！
41、总有一天你的名字会出现在我家的户口本上 !
1、三过女厕所而不入。
2、别老看AV，你也不看看键盘上，字母A和V后面分别是什么。
3、我们看的什么电视，到最后男女主角结婚了，电视就大结局了，这说明啥？说明：只要一结婚，后面就没戏了。
4、用2B形容你，人家铅笔不乐意。
5、眼保健操：(→_→)( ↑ _ ↑ )(←_←)( ↓ _ ↓ )(→_←)( ↑ _ ↓ ) (←_→)( ↓ _ ↑ ) ！！！！！
6、刚刚接到女朋友的短信，她说要跟我分手，当我在伤心地时候，她又发来了短信：“对不起，发错了”，现在我是真正地伤心了。←_←
7、考英语六级，上联：学生证准考证身份证证证没带，下联：听力题阅读题作文题题题不会。横批：重在参与！
8、社会很单纯，复杂的是人。
9、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢。